Liberal Twitter Whines About “Racist Soap Dispensers,” Bless Their Hearts

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Jul 1, 2019

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Or, in this case, to a slice of the political spectrum with a chip on their shoulder, everything looks like racism.

The folks over at Liberal Twitter™ had a “eureka!” moment when one of their high priestesses made a fascinating discovery: automated soap dispensers don’t work for dark-skinned people due to sensor technology apparently made with light skin in mind.

In other words, soap dispensers are racist.

“I never looked at them the same,” said Ilyse Hogue, president of extremist abortion rights nonprofit NARAL, of the moment she had been blessed with the hidden knowledge that some sensors on automated devices aren’t actually equipped with motion detectors.

Of course, rather than examine any of the several reasons why this might be (false alarms triggering the dispenser and causing it to sploosh every time someone walks by, maybe?), Hogue and others’ first reflex is to ascribe “implicit bias” to the developers of this kind of tech.

Seriously. Racist soap dispensers, y’all.

Justly receiving pushback in no time at all, Hogue seemingly snagged an article in her favor from Google and cited it for her little “truth-bomb”:

The main premise of the Mic article Hogue cites is a 2015 incident in which “An African-American guest of the Dragon Con sci-fi and fantasy convention visited a bathroom in the event’s host hotel and discovered the soap dispenser, from a British company called Technical Concepts, wouldn’t sense his hands. When his friend, a white man named Larry, tried after him, out came the soap.”

If you can stomach it, here’s the selectively-spouting, hate-mongering machine in action:

Horrific.

“I wasn’t offended, but it was so intriguing, like ‘Why is it not recognizing me?'” T.J. Fitzpatrick, the narrator of the video, bravely recalled to Mic at the time. “I tried all the soap dispensers in that restroom, there were maybe 10, and none of them worked. Any time I went into that restroom, I had to have my friend get the soap for me.”

Upon sharing this secret wisdom, however, Hogue was met with some surprising pushback.

Of course, many people felt that this was succinct confirmation of the inherent racism they see hanging onto modern culture:

And, of course, this dude showed up:

But, thankfully, a select handful of the People Of Twitter™ was there to set Hogue straight:

https://twitter.com/lizgreen5578/status/1144738426664755200?s=20

Short, sweet, and to the point. Then, this:

But how on earth is that supposed to mesh with their narrative?! These people need racist soap dispensers to stay relevant!

And, of course, droves of folks showed up to point out that, as melanin-deficient individuals, faucets and soap dispensers often fail to work for them as well:

And, my favorite:

Everybody relax, y’all. Save your energy for the next outrage.