Invasion of the Sex Robots

I won’t call it an invasion quite yet, but the advent of sex robots is upon us. That’s right! You can now purchase a female sex robot from a San Diego company for the sticker price of around $15,000. The male version is coming soon. And we thought James Brown was only singing about a “Sex Machine.” Apparently The Godfather of Soul was predicting the future

If you thought your life lacked intimacy before then I’m sure you can fulfill that deep empty longing in your soul with a machine that’s built to look like a human. I can’t get Siri to give me good directions or Alexa to play the song I ask for so I doubt the Sexbot 5000 is going to be that helpful either.

The bots, called “Harmony,” which were launched in 2017 come with an artificial intelligence app and a robotic head on a mannequin-like body. No guarantees on whether or not she’ll look at the camera when you want to take a good picture for the Christmas card to send to mom and dad.

Imagine the excitement you’ll have when the doorbell rings and the delivery person gives you the box containing your new love life and potential soul mate. Hopefully there’s no assembly required since you already don’t care enough about the details of real life. There’s no way your brain will be in any condition to read directions.

The pornography industry is already destroying relationships at an astonishing rate. With a sex robot you can almost guarantee that you’ll never have or need another human relationship again. Your glorious day to day life will now consist of working in a cubicle and coming home to Harmony. Doesn’t that sound amazing? Kick back, relax, pour a glass of wine (for goodness’ sake don’t spill it on her…she’s a machine), and get ready for an amazing night of “cyber sex.”

Be sure to sleep with one eye open in case Harmony gets a message from the internet to kill you with a bedside lamp. Talk about a turn off and a real relationship killer. No worries though.  I’m sure you’re safe. I’m sure sleeping with your new gal is as comfortable as cuddling a vacuum cleaner.

The bigger issue here is this: What are the legitimate consequences to replacing human relationships and intimacy with a mechanical or robotic surrogate? If you think the world today has lost sensitivity or personal touch then just wait till Harmony and her ilk become normalized.

Kinda makes you want to go back and watch The Jetsons and dream of a more pure technological future. Unless Rosie the Robot was really George’s…..NOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh…don’t come crying to us when your sexbot starts claiming sexual harassment. Stranger things have happened.

Good lucky boys!