Gov. Greg Abbott Just Signed A Bunch Of Laws That Are So Texas

As a born-and-raised New Yorker, I honestly can’t fathom the idea of ever moving to Texas. Sorry, not sorry.

While I’m eager to join many liberty-loving natives of my beloved home state (which would be a wonderful place if New York City and Albany would somehow detach from the rest of the state and float off into the sea) in the mass exodus to escape crushing taxes, asinine regulations, and hideously extreme leftist legislation, Texas isn’t a state I’d pick.

Between the snakes, the bugs, the heat, the lack of basements, the insane degrees of illegal immigration (that one’s surely the Fed’s fault, to be clear), and the fondness y’all seem to have for 64-lane highways, the Lone Star State just ain’t for me.

Still, the Republic’s dedication to preserving the liberties of its citizens makes the state mighty tempting, especially the slew of laws Gov. Greg Abbott just signed.

On the first of this month, Abbott tweeted a video of himself signing a red-light camera ban into law, saying, “I’m about to sign this bill that bans red light cameras in Texas.”

According to the National Motorists Association’s reports and studies, red-light cameras actually increase accidents. As far as personal liberty goes, they’re clearly unconstitutional, allowing citizens to be accused of crimes without the legal right to confront their accuser. Add to that the obvious unreliability of these stupid things (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten bills from toll booths in California for vehicles that aren’t even mine), and this law was a no-brainer.

Two days later, Abbott tweeted another video of himself signing a bill that is just everything us New Yorkers imagine when we think of Texas. Now, residents of the state will be able to “order beer and wine from retailers to be delivered to your home.”

“Enjoy responsibly,” he added.

And, lastly, Gov. Abbott took on the increasing threat of censorship and assaults on the right to free speech on college campuses.

“Some colleges are banning free speech on college campuses,” Abbott said. “Well, no more because I’m about to sign a law that protects free speech on college campuses in Texas.”

“Shouldn’t have to do it,” he said after signing. “The First Amendment guarantees it. Now, it’s law in Texas.”

I dunno, y’all. Texas is starting to look a little more appealing. But, seriously, do something about those mega-highways. Please.