February in (the Leftist) Utopia
Roy Jeffords
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A February for the ages! It was bigly and YUGE. Only twenty-eight days, what subterfuge. We thought we were smart. We had money and pride. But the Democrats told us we’d just gone for a ride.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
We started the month reeling from Trump. Just a few days before, he’d stood tall and talked junk. When he said blacks are working, we stood and we cheered. But the Congressional Black Caucus did not even jeer. They sat there like stones, tapping their phones.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
America, we thought! The home we hold dear. But it’s really for Dreamers, no patriots here. You have to sneak in, if you want to be real. Native or naturalized? Ha! Citizens are schmucks, leaving illegals down in the muck. They just take all they can; they suck, suck, suck.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
Our athletes sought gold, wearing red, white, and blue. They hunted for glory, representing her and him and me and you. We thought it was America, but we had the wrong hue. Turns out the Pres is too crass. That’s what Lindsey said before she fell on her ass, and Gus said the same when he finished last.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
Mr. Mueller played gumshoe throughout the big games. We thought he was daft, just yanking our chains. But here’s something big! The press made his claim, promising he’d found someone to blame. The Trumpster is doomed! We all gave a gasp. Turned out they were talking straight from their ass.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
A great man left us after ninety-nine years. He shared in our triumphs, and he wept at our tears. He prayed with our leaders, he showed us the way. While America grieved, the left saw a new day. We thought he showed love; they called it hate. That’s what they told us. Ain’t America great?
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
In Parkland we lost the best that we had. The blood’s on our hands; our children are dead. Instead of comfort or sympathy, offering our best, we pointed our fingers and blamed all the rest. Instead of love, while bodies littered the floor, we looked at the hate and said, “Let’s pile on some more!”
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
When the shots rang out, panic ensued. Some victims were brave and did what the cops wouldn’t do. Standing outside seemed cowardly and slight. But we were corrected, because that wasn’t right. Rushing in would be foolish, standing down was real smart. That’s what the press said straight from their hearts.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
Since the FBI failed, and the cops weren’t around, and Cruz broke the law buying a gun and some rounds, the NRA’s evil, and guns are to blame. Anybody can see; it’s really that plain. Scary weapons are awful. Let’s take them away. They’ll get what’s coming, the evil NRA.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
The students are marching, setting us straight. We’re all going to die, if they don’t get their way. Government’s a mystery. Guns are just bad. Criticize these children, and you’ll make them sad. Last week they ate Tide pods. This week, they’re smart. The left thinks we should let them take our government apart.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
Yes, February was phat. A lot hit the fan. But, don’t get worked up. The left has a plan. They don’t need your help. Just do as you’re told. Don’t worry about working; they’ll distribute our gold. They’ll make it all fair, and life will be sweet. If you dare disagree, then you’ll feel the heat.
‘Cause that’s how it is in Utopia.
Roy Jeffords is an author, ghost writer, Constitutional conservative, and curmudgeon-at-large. A graduate of The Citadel, the Military College of South Carolina, he lives in Texas with his wife and their two boxers. Find him on Facebook at Roy Jeffords, Twitter @royjeffords, Instagram royjeffords, and at www.royjeffords.com. Contact him at [email protected].
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