Eminem & Ellen

Eminem is a 44-year-old rapper who achieved fortune and fame by appealing to a mostly male audience with his violent rhymes bashing women and gays.

Ellen Degeneres is a 59-year-old talk show host who achieved fortune and fame by appealing to a mostly female audience with her comedic wit and ardent support of the LGBTQ community.

Common sense tells us these two cultural icons probably wouldn’t share a boatload of mutual admiration due to their extreme differences on a number of serious topics. After all, Eminem once openly opined about sexually assaulting his own mother and often refers to homosexuals as “faggots” in his music. Ellen enjoys gyrating to today’s pop hits with her studio audience full of over-caffeinated soccer moms and has been married to Portia de Rossi since 2008.

But this is 2017…and common sense don’t live here anymore.

As people from both sides of 8 Mile surely know by now, Eminem unleashed a blistering “free style” rap at the BET Awards earlier this week denouncing President Trump for everything from calling out NFL players who protest the national anthem to saying he’ll do whatever’s necessary to stop North Korea from blowing up Wisconsin.

The nerve of that guy!

And while Ellen may be a vocal Trump critic who recently described him to Megyn Kelly as being “dangerous to our country and to me personally as a gay woman,” even she couldn’t possibly condone Slim Shady’s childish outburst on Tuesday night that ended with the line, “We f*cking hate Trump,” right?


Minutes after Eminem “dropped” his ridiculous rant, Ellen took to Twitter and wrote: “I heart Eminem.”

Say what? Ellen DeGeneres hearts a guy who’s spent the last 15 years telling us how much he’d love to kill his ex-wife with lyrics like, “Don’t you get it bitch, no one can hear you, now shut the f*ck up and get what’s comin’ to you. You were supposed to love me (*Kim choking sounds), Now bleed! Bitch bleed! Bleed! Bitch bleed! Bleed!”

“I heart Eminem.”

Please tell me the reigning queen of daytime talk and passionate supporter of last January’s Women’s March didn’t just tweet kudos to the toxically masculine psychopath responsible for writing, “Bitch I’ll punch Lana Del Rey right in the face twice, like Ray Rice in broad daylight in the plain sight of the elevator surveillance ’til her head is banging on the railing.”

“I heart Eminem.”

It simply makes no sense for Ellen freakin’ DeGeneres, a person admired by millions of moms across America, to throw her support behind a chronically disgruntled man-child who once rhymed, “Oh, now he’s raping his own mother, abusing a whore, snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover? You god damn right bitch, and now it’s too late, I’m triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states.”

“I heart Eminem.”

And for a gay woman who bravely demands tolerance and respect for the LGBTQ community, I have absolutely no clue how Ellen could ever be okay with the straight white rapper responsible for such homophobic lyrics as, “I’ll still be able to break a motherf*ckin’ table over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half.”

“I heart Eminem.”

Following a week where Hollywood has been exposed yet again for being nothing more than a cesspool that allows monsters like Harvey Weinstein to openly treat women like pieces of meat, Ellen’s public love fest with a dude who enjoys referring to the female gender as “bitches and sluts” seems like the worst decision since Papa Doc let B Rabbit go first.

In case she hasn’t noticed, America has grown tired of hearing celebrities preach about things like “love trumps hate” while openly condoning anyone who loves hating Trump. If you don’t believe me, ask Hillary Clinton how her message of “I have famous friends” worked out in places like Ohio and Pennsylvania. Turns out those folks were more interested in jobs and national security than Jay Z and Beyonce.

So am I saying we should all boycott Ellen’s show due to her ridiculous admiration for a has-been like Eminem? Of course not…let’s save that for tomorrow night’s episode of Saturday Night Live after Lorne Michaels and his cast of social justice warriors refused to even mention their ol’ pal Harvey the Harrasser last time around.

“Live from New York…we’re a bunch of spineless weasels!”

But I am saying the next time you see Ellen DeGeneres gleefully dancing around on screen to a Justin Timberlake track before playing a game of “Aw Snap!” with a group of housewives who just flew in from Oklahoma, please keep in mind she’s also a big fan of the massive tool who once rapped, “Slut, you think I won’t choke no whore ’til the vocal chords don’t work in her throat no more?”