Britain’s Home Office Prints Knife Crime Warnings On Fried Chicken Boxes Now. Seriously.

Anna   |  

Aug 15, 2019

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Oh my heck, y’all.

The Home Office, Britain’s bumbling government entity in charge of its police force, has hit a brand new low in its attempts to root out epidemic levels of knife crime: They’re printing anecdotes and warnings about stabby sticks on fried chicken boxes at fast food joints.

No, it’s not Babylon Bee, they seriously thought this was a good idea and went ahead with it.

I strongly suspect that the soft skull responsible for this latest idea is the same genius behind Britain’s knife trade-in program and knife surrender bins (read to find out how both of those worked—spoiler: they didn’t.)

“Special chicken boxes warning about the dangers of carrying a knife are to be distributed to takeaways across England and Wales by the government,” Sky News reports. “More than 320,000 of them — featuring the Home Office #knifefree campaign — will replace the standard packaging in 210 outlets.”

According to The Daily Wire, the boxes feature true stories of young Britons who either fell victim to knife crime or escaped it. The boxes will be distributed at chicken joints like Morley’s, Chicken Cottage, and Dixy Chicken, who may also feature screens displaying #Knifefree messages.

“We want to promote being knife free by using custom chicken boxes to deliver the message and start conversations amongst all of our customers,” Morley’s managing director Shan Selvendran said of the boxes.

Selvendran’s hopeless naivete was masterfully outdone by that of policing minister Kit Malthouse, who hopes that the boxes will shine a light on the “tragic consequences” of carrying a knife and debunk “the idea that it makes you safer”.

“The government is doing everything it can to tackle the senseless violence that is traumatizing communities and claiming too many young lives, including bolstering the police’s ranks with 20,000 new police officers on our streets,” said Malthouse.

“Everything it can.” Oh my goodness. Chicken boxes are part of “everything” the government can do to try to root out the inherent flaw of man that drives one to commit a crime in the first place. How hilariously futile.

Taking the story to social media, the Home Office had the sheer self-unawareness to tweet about the boxes:

Unsurprisingly, folks came out of the woodwork to mercilessly mock the Home Office for their unmitigated stupidity. Some government officials even took part in the tarring and feathering, but for reasons that honest-to-goodness did not occur to this writer: printing the messages on fried chicken boxes as opposed to, say, fish and chips baskets, is racist.