Arizona GOP Congressman Wins “Epstein” Meme Wars With Hilarious Impeachment Hearing Tweets

As the Democratic lynch mob (oops, did I say a bad word?) marches onward toward impeachment, one Republican congressman seemed determined to ensure that the American people don’t lose sight of one of the few things in life of which we can be certain: Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Never has a conspiracy theory gained such massive mainstream consideration as the idea that the elite financier and child sex slave trader sure as hell didn’t strangle himself in a prison cell after his cell mate had been conveniently transferred out, his suicide watch protocols were conveniently ignored, and the cameras in front of his cell conveniently malfunctioned.

While the nuts and bolts of it may be murky, any American with a brain knows for sure that Epstein’s mysterious death was no suicide—and they memorialize it in hilarious memes like this one: The memes are great, printing the message onto beer cans is epic, but Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) may have won the Epstein memes title with his series of tweets commentating yesterday’s impeachment proceedings.

It might be one of the longest threads the world has ever known, but it’s for a reason. Pay attention to the first letter of each tweet:

Not only did Rep. Gosar artfully and thoroughly shred the notion that the impeachment plot by Dems has any basis in fact or American interests, he reminded careful readers that “EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF.”


And, to top it all off, Gosar slyly shrugged off any idea that his tweets spelling out the only thing America can agree on in 2019 was anything more than a coincidence with this gem:

I salute this man.