Arizona GOP Congressman Wins “Epstein” Meme Wars With Hilarious Impeachment Hearing Tweets

As the Democratic lynch mob (oops, did I say a bad word?) marches onward toward impeachment, one Republican congressman seemed determined to ensure that the American people don’t lose sight of one of the few things in life of which we can be certain: Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Never has a conspiracy theory gained such massive mainstream consideration as the idea that the elite financier and child sex slave trader sure as hell didn’t strangle himself in a prison cell after his cell mate had been conveniently transferred out, his suicide watch protocols were conveniently ignored, and the cameras in front of his cell conveniently malfunctioned.
While the nuts and bolts of it may be murky, any American with a brain knows for sure that Epstein’s mysterious death was no suicide—and they memorialize it in hilarious memes like this one: The memes are great, printing the message onto beer cans is epic, but Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) may have won the Epstein memes title with his series of tweets commentating yesterday’s impeachment proceedings.
It might be one of the longest threads the world has ever known, but it’s for a reason. Pay attention to the first letter of each tweet:
Evidence of a link between foreign aid and political investigations simply does not exist. The longer this circus continues the clearer it becomes that @realDonaldTrump has done absolutely nothing wrong.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
President @realDonaldTrump voluntarily chose to release the transcript of his phone call which clearly shows he did nothing wrong. This impeachment circus is a total sham, and Adam Schiff is the clown at the center of it all.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Schiff’s star witness is crumbling under pressure. He wasn’t listening to the phone call and he has never even met President Trump. pic.twitter.com/UfrVQRHkiq
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
The Democrat-led impeachment inquiry is falling apart. Their star witnesses have no direct knowledge of the July phone call. No wonder they tried to hide this sham behind closed doors in the basement of the Capitol!
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Every aspect of the Democrats impeachment inquiry is a sham. It started with coordination with the whistleblower and Adam Schiff. Then Schiff held secret hearings int he Capitol Basement. Now he's trying to control the very questions asked of the witnesses in the public hearings.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
It's nothing more than a game of telephone. These witnesses have no first hand knowledge. https://t.co/11bpMGeqyW
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
No quid pro quo, no pressure. The transcript released by President Trump shows us that, and President Zelensky himself has confirmed it.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Democrats are so desperate to impeach @realDonaldTrump, the very first witnesses they call are lifelong bureaucrats of the D.C. swamp who aren't even first hand witnesses. A total sham!
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
It is abundantly clear that Democrats hate Donald Trump more than they love America.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Donald Trump did nothing wrong except defeat the chosen one, Hillary Clinton in 2016 and Democrats still haven't gotten over it yet!
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Neither Ambassador Taylor nor George Kent are direct witnesses. This is just more hearsay from bureaucrats of the D.C. Swamp.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
The testimony of George Kent proves career bureaucrats have long sought to undermine @realDonaldTrump's foreign policy agenda, a responsibility of the President alone to implement. Kent is NOT even a direct witness.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Kent is currently reading his opening statement. It's worth remembering Kent is NOT a direct witness, and Kent had NO direct knowledge of U.S. aid being connected to any investigation.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
In response to @Jim_Jordan, Adam Schiff claims he doesn't know the identity of the whistleblower. If he doesn't know their identity, how will he prevent them from being named?
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Let the facts speak for themselves:
►Call shows no discussion of military aid or conditionality
►Both Trump & Zelensky said there was no pressure
►Ukraine did not know aid hadn't been released
►Aid was released— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Lying to the American people has become a pattern for Adam Schiff. He claimed to have evidence of Russian collusion, read a fake transcript of President Trump's phone call, and was caught red handed coordinating with the "whistleblower."
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Hillary Clinton and the DNC funded a foreign spy with the sole purpose of digging up dirt on @realDonaldTrump ahead of the 2016 election.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
It's clear the Democrats impeachment hoax fails on both process and substance. Liberals are still upset that Hillary Clinton was beaten so badly by @realDonaldTrump!
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Maxine Waters has called for impeachment since 2017. It was never about "collusion" or Ukraine; Democrats were always going to try to impeach President Trump.https://t.co/YJTIPRfTM2
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Schiff has approved just 3 of the 9 witnesses sought by Republicans.
He is trying to hide the truth from the American people.
A Democrat-led coup happening right before our eyes!
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Even The New York Times claims the Democrats are using this Ukraine hoax as a “do-over” for their failed Russian collusion narrative to bring down President @realDonaldTrump. https://t.co/6BZpWwU41e
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Let’s be clear: Democrats only came to Congress to impeach @realDonaldTrump. It’s time to fight back! pic.twitter.com/3MW4GP0eCn
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Finally, Adam Schiff’s sham impeachment inquiry comes out of the shadows. The American people will see it for what it is: a partisan sham. The fact is, President @realDonaldTrump did not commit any high crimes or misdemeanors.
— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
Not only did Rep. Gosar artfully and thoroughly shred the notion that the impeachment plot by Dems has any basis in fact or American interests, he reminded careful readers that “EPSTEIN DIDN’T KILL HIMSELF.”
And, to top it all off, Gosar slyly shrugged off any idea that his tweets spelling out the only thing America can agree on in 2019 was anything more than a coincidence with this gem:
𝐀ll of the tweets pertained to today’s hearing.
𝐑est assured, they are substantive.
𝐄very one of them.
𝐀ll of them.𝟓 were brilliant.
𝟏 was okay.— Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (@RepGosar) November 13, 2019
I salute this man.
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