Because what's better than drowning your marital woes in gin?
Do we really need such care and protection from the government that we can't handle the baby Jesus catching some air and blowing into traffic?
There's just one problem (okay, several problems, but let's stay focused here).
Of course, it's the ultimate faux-pas in today's woke culture to utter anything other than the highest praises of the act of killing an unborn child. So, naturally, leftists cringed at Johnson's statements.
Please excuse me while I go throw all my money at Black Rifle Coffee.
At this point, I'd rather take my chances in the Thunderdome at Popeyes than give a single penny to Chick-fil-A.
"#PeteButtigiegCalledMe to see if I would endorse his immigration and Latino outreach plans and left a voicemail telling me I had until 4pm that day to call back to opt out otherwise they would assume I endorsed and would put my name on a list that might be only 45-65% Hispanic"
So, rather than a simple, "aw man, my bad!" we get a revision of the facts and a reminder of the works-based salvation of intersectionality. Sounds about right.
I'll give you a hint: it starts with an O and rhymes with "Schmobamacare."